A very informative exploration here, Elizabeth. We risk cheapening forgiveness when we view it this way. Some people don't even acknowledge they did something wrong, let alone show remorse.
You don't need to forgive; you need to heal and move on. If you can do this without forgiving, then just do it. The talk of forgiveness is mostly by people who don't want accountability. They want the conversation to move on to other things.
You can always see where one is truly sorry. Here, you can forgive if they've proven they want to change. Otherwise, "Forgive me" becomes manipulation, and those asking for it are exactly the type that don't deserve it.
100% agree with all of this. I’ve also had the experiences of people preaching forgiveness when I mention that I no longer have a relationship with my mother. There is a big difference, also, between actual forgiveness and the bullshit, including denial and emotional bypassing, masquerading as it. They just say this shite because they don’t want to feel, acknowledge or be responsible, and that’s their journey but they don’t get to corral your trauma for their own selfish purposes.
Actual ‘forgiveness’ has nothing to do with what they’re suggesting and everything to do with allowing yourself to evolve and create healthier boundaries. Which is actually what you’ve done… for yourself so that you, including your younger self, are no longer held hostage to the past and denying how you feel and what you experienced. You’re being more you.
Yes exactly! I’m glad this resonated with you, Natalie ❤️
A very informative exploration here, Elizabeth. We risk cheapening forgiveness when we view it this way. Some people don't even acknowledge they did something wrong, let alone show remorse.
You don't need to forgive; you need to heal and move on. If you can do this without forgiving, then just do it. The talk of forgiveness is mostly by people who don't want accountability. They want the conversation to move on to other things.
You can always see where one is truly sorry. Here, you can forgive if they've proven they want to change. Otherwise, "Forgive me" becomes manipulation, and those asking for it are exactly the type that don't deserve it.
yes exactly. thank you for reading!
and commenting.
100% agree with all of this. I’ve also had the experiences of people preaching forgiveness when I mention that I no longer have a relationship with my mother. There is a big difference, also, between actual forgiveness and the bullshit, including denial and emotional bypassing, masquerading as it. They just say this shite because they don’t want to feel, acknowledge or be responsible, and that’s their journey but they don’t get to corral your trauma for their own selfish purposes.
Actual ‘forgiveness’ has nothing to do with what they’re suggesting and everything to do with allowing yourself to evolve and create healthier boundaries. Which is actually what you’ve done… for yourself so that you, including your younger self, are no longer held hostage to the past and denying how you feel and what you experienced. You’re being more you.
yes exactly
I'm glad you shared this with me, definitely feeling you per my post of similar insight. Thank You!
thank you for reading!